Social Well-Being: Is your busy-ness leading to loneliness?

 Americans love busy-ness. Unfortunately, the pace we keep with our job, family obligations and home chores mean the average person “works” 60+ hours per week. It’s no wonder people just want to plop down on the sofa and watch TV when they get home.

The problem with this is that with all of the busy-ness and all of the plopping, we no longer socialize with our neighbors, friends, or family in meaningful ways. This busy-ness, along with an increasing reliance on technology, is negatively affecting our social well-being.

There are also more of us living alone. Back in the 1940s, living alone was rare. In fact, according to the US Census at that time, only seven percent of households were solo dwellers. By the 2013 census, that number rose to 20 percent.

The social fabric of our world has definitely changed. People have begun to seek “a little more peace and quiet" but that retreat can begin a drift toward self-inflicted loneliness. Saying “no” to so many things in the name of quiet time can lead to a feeling of being left out. And once people feel left out, it's hard to get back in.

So we do a dance back and forth, a mental tug-of-war between wanting to stay connected and needing to be left alone.

The significance of this (and why we are telling you about it) is because of the association between aloneness and poor health.

Medical researchers agree that socially connected people live longer, have better immune systems and respond better to stress. From heart attacks to dementia, connections matter to your health! This is why social well-being is one of the most important of the five pillars.

So how do you reconnect if you’ve had “too much” peace and quiet? Here are some suggestions:

  1. Understand that social exclusion (feeling left out/lonely) is a very powerful experience and it can change the way a person thinks, behaves and feels. If you think someone in your area often feels excluded (think about those one-person departments or telecommuters who spend the day alone), make an effort to include him or her in something.
  2. Ask, “Am I retreating when I should be reaching out?” (an interesting sidenote: psychotherapists have noted that many patients were more willing to say they were depressed than lonely).
  3. Try talking to your neighbors like they did in the days before garages and privacy fences! Connecting with your home community can make you feel included and safer. Think about it: you wouldn't want to be known as the neighbor who was always "...pretty quiet. He kept to himself mostly. We didn't really know him at all."
  4. Keep learning about social well-being and how it influences your physical well-being. We have covered physical well-being here and will be talking about financial and community well-being soon!

Have you ever retreated only to find yourself withdrawing too much? Did your health (mental or physical) suffer? Let’s talk!

Just joining us for this series? Check out the previous article on physical well-being, or head back to the beginning!

Source: The Lonely American 

Comment

SIGN IN to share your comments or REGISTER today to become a Connect member.