Your doctor may have asked you during a regular checkup if you feel safe when you are at home. This question is aimed at screening for domestic violence. It has become a part of standard practice in annual health exams to go beyond just checking on a person’s body health. It is now common to also check their mental and physical sense of wellbeing.

While being asked about your feelings of mental or physical safety may be surprising, public health experts say that domestic violence happens more often than many people realize. It happens in relationships among adults, teens, college students and even seniors. It may occur in opposite or same-sex relationships, or even in intimate relationships that aren’t sexual.

Both women and men can be victims of domestic violence.

• About 41% of women and 26% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
• Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

Abuse Can Take Many Forms

Physical abuse may include physical actions such as hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing and other harmful physical contact.

Emotional and verbal abuse may include actions that undermine a person’s self-worth such as verbal insults and name calling, manipulation, or excessive criticism and jealousy.

Psychological Abuse abuse may include actions such as threatening harm to a person, their children, pets or property. Also, intimidation and forcing isolation from friends, school or work.

Technological abuse uses texting, social media and other technologies to harass, threaten, exploit, extort, monitor or guilt individuals to maintain control.

Sexual abuse pressures or forces individuals into sexual contact or behavior without consent.

Both physical and non-physical (i.e., emotional or psychological abuse) forms of abuse can adversely affect a person’s life and health.

• Victims often experience mental health issues like depression, stress, fear, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. These issues along with physical injuries may in turn impact their physical health in a number of ways. Chronic pain, headaches, gastrointestinal symptoms, chest, back and pelvic pain are some examples.
• Victims may also be less likely to seek regular health care or talk to health or mental health providers. They may delay or skip exams out of fear of retaliation or distrust of providers in reporting their situation. Feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment over the stigma of being a victim can be a factor too.

This is a difficult subject. If you have concerns about yourself or see signs of abuse in someone you know, starting the conversation can help. Even when someone seems not ready to talk, showing you are there for them can open the door to positive change.

Most importantly, be willing to listen without judgement. When they are ready, you can offer help with resources like housing, getting health care or transportation. You can even help them make a personal safety plan.  This maps out ways for them to escape an unsafe situation before it happens. With a safety plan, a person can act quickly if ever in danger.  

Also, most communities have services and providers that can be reached anonymously. A great first step to save your life or someone else’s is getting support. Talk to friends, family or any of the resources in your community that are there to help.

Source: About Intimate Partner Violence,  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024; Domestic Violence,  Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice, 2025; Domestic Violence,  American Psychiatric Association, 2023